R 01✨

Dear past self

It’s been more than a year since my first letter to me  

You were a different girl 

For all the wrong reasons and the right 

While everyone was begging for pink, you chose purple

A solid black was harsh for you, but grey met your middle 

You’re different for all the wrong reasons 

But these differences made it right, a place where you belong
It’s been a long while 

Since you’ve learned that numbing anything would make the pain even worse 

And you just had to live with the pain

Did you? 

No you didnt

You shared 

Your problems and your pain 

People listened and even if they didnt change 

You did

Things have been great after that

I’ve found someone who amazes me everyday 

And makes me fall completely in love and delirious ecstasy every time I look in his direction 

But actually he was there all along


Your dreams are of places ethereal to the world 

Simple dreams fall and elude your shoulders

It’s not too much to ask 

And ambition is healthy 

You have to trust your wayward self to guide you down the right path 

Or if it’s wrong 

One day, you’ll make it right
Fault and mercy, I’m still dealing with the repercussions of blurred lines. 

Never give up on the battle of discovering and finding where YOU stand, not where others stand 
And even when the whole world is against you

Be Janine 

Remember where “going with the others” led you the last time? 

Desertment and a lost love 

Now he’s back and I’m safe in his arms 

His scent and warmth 

Is home

And its a place no one can define besides yourself
Trust yourself more 

Love yourself more 

Smile at yourself, your reflection more 

Because even though you’re still searching for a term to describe “Janine” 

Enjoy the journey

It’ll be a long journey more

But until then, 

I’ll be right where you are 

We’re of the same being, same heart and soul, 

The same from head to toe 



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