⚠️the most toxic of friends⚠️

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{if you know this is about you, I’m sorry but this is my point of view, and I don’t really care if you respect it or not because I respect myself enough to finally let it all out}

I’m not bragging, but I have a pretty big circle of friends. Church, School, choir, etcetc. And honestly, I’ve found that the most lethal friends out there are the least expected.

This isnt about the friends that aren’t there when you have a bad day. It is the friends who actually MAKE YOU have a bad day. It is the friends that make you cry. For no apparent reason, or rather reasons you don’t want to acknowledge- you’d rather it be negligible. It is the friends…. That are the closest to you.

Firstly, they do things behind your back. I’m serious, I’m not THAT dumb to not know how many secret groups y’all have, or rather what you say on it. Sure I don’t know exactly what it is, but it’s just bitchy talk, criticism, judgement and all that nasty stuff. It’s just such an ugly thing to do, yet y’all openly do it. And y’know what’s even worst? You openly just kill people with your rude remarks, “totally normal” name calling and YOU GIVE THE EXCUSE THAT YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME. Isn’t that sickening?? 😷

Secondly, they are exclusive. Hahahahah it’s so terrible how you guys try to be exclusive but when one of y’all aren’t present you drag people in to your “exclusive club” to compensate. Just because someone doesn’t go for an outing you go all exclusive on them? Just because they don’t eat recess with y’all you get to exclude them? Who gives you the right to push them out of your social circle on such short notice when they’ve literally done NOTHINGwrong. Heck I admire them for eating with friends they actually have. In addition, you guys just hang out with all the popular people, you don’t care abt the rest. Last year, you never liked the people who sat near you for morning assembly and hated working in groups when grouped in index numbers. And now? You rub into people’s face that they don’t have the position you’re in to be considered “cool” because now that you’re in a different class, and your index number group is with the popular people. Gross isnt it?

Thirdly, they’ve changed so much from the year before. 365 days ago, you wouldn’t have said the same thing about the other wouldn’t you? Why have you guys changed so much?? It’s not for good, nor for bad. It’s for the worst. Honestly, 365 days ago you wouldn’t have said that mean remark abt that girl who stays in class to do her work. 365 days ago, you wouldn’t even dare to speak ill of that person. 365 days ago, I wouldn’t be typing all of this down, in anger, in rage. At the start of the year, you wrote in a letter that We’ve never fought before, but as the year goes by, we practically fight every single day. And heyy it’s not fighting if one party isnt angry right? You just freaking start muttering vulgarities under your breath when I’m right in front of you, cursing me for doing something you don’t like. Not everything has to go your way yknow? 

Lastly, they are the most shallow bunch of people you’ve ever met. Really. I’ve never ever ever heard “but she’s pretty” as a legit excuse before. Hello, this girl just posted on twitter abt our cca, how is it that you can tell me “but she’s pretty”. Does her “beauty” ever justify how mean she is?? Oh yea I get how if a person is prettier her opinion is def more valid. That’s extremely shallow.😒 The same girl just constantly speaks ill of another and you say “but she’s pretty” ohhh like THAT totally makes sense. She gets to kill people mentally with her words and that’s perfectly fine because she’s pretty? Where did your moral values go??? Blinded by beauty? That’s a real great quality to possess.

Truth be told, the reason why I didn’t go for chem class that day was because I couldn’t take how intoxication of a friend you guys are. You’re definitely better individually, but. It’s not the same. Both of y’all have changed so much, from being the only few friends I’ve always trusted with my heart to being the ones I distrust the most. When I said I wasn’t going for chem class, I went back to the classroom cuz I couldn’t take it anymore. I’m lucky to have a few people seeing me in that state and decided to come clean with me. I realised then I wasn’t the only one merciless from all the cruel things y’all have done. They think too that y’all have changed so much, and it’s affecting them as well.

And y’know when people give the advice that I shld stop hanging out with them, how can I?You guys are the closest of friends I’ve ever had since sec 1. Only thing is now, you’re not friends anymore. Aren’t friends supposed to be the ones who morally support you? Or keep secrets, have your back 100% and yknow you can always fall and they’ll be there to catch you?

Only now, it’s spears and Knives I fall into.

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

The most intoxicating friends you make are the ones who hurt you the most, but the reason why it hurts you the most is because you can’t let go of them. Deep down you pray with all your heart that they’ll change back, be nice again and less toxic to touch. My hands are black from all the toxicness, I don’t think I’d ever let go tho.

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